F O U R

"It's not even midnight and she's making a complete arse of herself," Romana complained.

"What?" Gwen said, holding onto Rhys's arm. "She's only making a speach."

"Yeah," Romana said. "You obviously haven't heard her when she's had a drink or five. I was at the wedding. All four of them." She gave Georgina's speach a short listen. "And here's where she normally talks about Jack."

It was half past eleven, and everyone was stood on what appeared to be a dance floor; they were all listening to the speach that Georgina was giving."
"Normally," Georgina said, looking through the crowd of highly educated men and women. "I'd go on to talk about a certain man in my life, but not this year. Mainly because he's stood right behind the head of the CMC, but also because I've ran out of insults about him that don't involve swearing infront of the guys from Pathology. And I've been drinking, therefore, being cautious of what I'm saying isn't currently possible. So," she drew to her conclusion. "Ladies, gentlemen, doctors, nurses, technicians, porters, receptionists and ex-boyfriends. I give to you, Captain Jack Harkness!"

Everyone turned around, and were looking at Jack.

"Anyway," Georgina concluded, looking at Jack, as everyone turned back to look at her. "This song's for Jack, because I spend sevety five percent of my life chasing after him, and the other twenty five percent-"

"Oh god..." Romana said, she'd already heard the outcome of this.

"Is actually spent caring."

"Well that wasn't in the original," Romana recalled. "Looks like Ianto got off lightly this year," she said, looking at Ianto, who's cheeks blushed to clash with his pink shirt. "The original was that she spent the other twenty five percent shagging the man who she fell in love with after he pulled her out of a skip. The man," she continued. "It has to be said, that is possibly almost three times as old as Georgina."

"Hello lover boy!" Georgina said, from behind Jack, putting her arms around his neck, and kissing him on the cheek, slowly working her way past Rhys, and standing in front of Jack. "Do you think your feet can stretch to the dance we danced all those years ago?"

"The Drunken Waltz?" Romana said. "Or, as it's known in Cardiff; The Waltz?"

"Sorry to break you two up," Rhys said. He'd quite obviously had more than his fair share of lager that night. "But are you two married? Or should I still be worried?"

"No," Georgina said. "And yes, you should still be worried."

"Sarcasm," Gwen said. "He's drunk. Sorry about that." She looked at Georgina, who looked guilty. "No?" She said, exageratedly. "Really?"

Georgina didn't say anything. She grabbed Jack by the shoulder, and dragged him off to the toilets.

"They know!" She shouted, throwing a bar of pink soap at Jack. "I've always hated Rhys, but I never thought we'd have to spill our secret to them like this!" They were in the ladies toilets, and Georgina had locked the door with some kind of alien device. "I only ever told one person within Torchwood, and that was Emily, because she needed to know why we should have recruited you. I could hardly say you dragged me out of a skip every other friday night!" She looked Jack in the eyes. "Also, I couldn't let on that I was once associated sexually with the man who's responsible for the foundation of Torchwood, the almost murder of Queen Victoria 1879, and the almost destruction of the City of Cardiff ten years previous to that!"

Jack raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Don't look at me like that," she said. "We were young, drunk and very, very stupid. Just like us when we got married. Mothers."

"Are you going to do any more damage with that soap?" Jack asked, as Georgina picked the bar of soap up, and threatened to throw it at him again.

She shook her head. "No. I mean, I am armed with a Glock, a Laser, a Squareness gun. Danger of wearing your wedding dress that you got from Helene Paige, that has pockets in. I could hurt you, but why bother? Thanks to Alex, I know the pain of being shot through the head. It hurts. And kills, instantly." She smiled. "I'm sorry. I've acted like a complete arse. Again. I will stop giving drunken speaches." She considered this promise. "Apart from New Year, Christmas, and other peoples Weddings."

Although she was vaguely aware of being lay on top of someone, Georgina didn't open her eyes, because she feared the worst. She also happened to know the person had great amounts of her hair in his mouth, because it was long, and all over the place. She tugged at her hair, and it came away from the mouth with ease. She had a feeling that she'd ended up in bed with someone from the ball. She also had the feeling she had actually shot Jack, and stayed locked in the toilets until he'd shook himself back to life.

"Argh!" Georgina moaned, rolling over, and landing on her back. It wasn't an easy task when you had bits of man stuck where they shouldn't be stuck. Even if she was used to it! "Jack!" She screamed, looking to her left, and realising it was Jack.

Jack sat bolt upright, and screamed likewise. "No," he said. "Why should I?" He thought carefully. "We're both consenting adults. Some more senior than others, but..."

"You sound like my second husband. All talk, and nothing down there." Georgina looked at the clock on the bedside cabinet. "Shit. I should have been at the hospital three hours ago." She yawned. "I'll phone in sick. Haven't done that for years." She picked up her mobile from beside the clock, and speed-dialled the ward where she worked. "Mel?" She said, as the phone was answered. "Yeah, I'm a bit sick. Drank too much at the ball, been up all night being sick. Give Romana any paper work I need to see. She can bring it home." She threw the phone back, and stared at the ceiling. "Urgh." She groaned. "I can't even wake up alone. Rick, John, Ewan, Earl, Owen, Ianto, Saxon, Dimitrov, James. You!"

"I'm not the worst person you've woken up with, though?"

"Nope," she admitted. "John gets that award."

T H R E E

"Well that's five hours I wont get back," Georgina complained, getting ready to go to the ball. "Turns out, it was absolutely nothing to do with what Mel said, leaking valve indeed. I haven't seen such a bad ruptered artery for years. So," she said, looking for a hair brush, on her dressing table. "I spend five hours in my theatre, repairing what is left of Missus Williams' Aorta, getting covered in blood, when I could have stayed on the ward, getting covered in blood, black mucus and vomit. And to top it all off, Ianto accepted your offer."

"Brilliant," Romana replied.

The two were sat in Georgina's bedroom, at the house where they had lived for several years.

Romana was ready. She was wearing a long, pale pink dress, silvery shoes, her hair was curly, and her make up matched her dress perfectly.

Georgina however, was still sat in her white dressing gown, trying to erase the specks of blood on her face, with make up wipes, whilst Romana tied Georgina's hair into a tight bun on the back of her head. "There!" Georgina said, throwing the wipe down on the dressing table, and looking into the mirror. "I might need a bit of help fastening this dress," she said, taking off her dressing gown, leaving her stood in white underwear. She took her dress of the hanger, it was hung upon, in the wardrobe, and pulled it over her head. "Ooh, it still fits!"

"Well," Romana said, standing up, and pulling the zip up the back of Georgina's dress with ease. "You haven't really changed much."

"Romana, this dress is one hundred and forty one years old!" She laughed. "But no, I've not really changed much height and weight wise. I was six foot exactly at my wedding, and eleven stone. Now, I'm six foot two, and nine stone." She felt the dress at the hips, as Romana moved away. "Pockets! I forgot that! I thought it was the purple one that had pockets."
"It did," Romana recalled. "I had to fight a Glock off you. You wanted to kill him on your wedding day."

"Yeah," she said. "Shame I didn't. Then I wouldn't have had to kill him infront of two old friends, and what appeared to be the entire Jones' family. Now would we have had to spend a year on that bloody ship!"

"So," Romana said, standing near the bedroom door. "How do you plan to get Gwen in?"

"Well," Georgina said, holding up what appeared to be a card wallet, with a piece of paper in it. "I found this in Jack's desk a few weeks ago. Psychic paper. She's a Student Nurse from A and E. Albeit, one with only two years learning. I've just told her to avoid the men. The women never ask about work. She's bringing Rhys. I just hope Jack got my memo about wearing a suit. He'd better not turn up in that coat!"

"What coat are you wearing?"

"The one that looks like I nicked it off Jack."

Romana looked at Georgina seriously.

"It's November!" Georgina retorted.

"I don't care!" Georgina shouted. "I can't drink and drive! Jack, you don't even drink!"

Jack stopped the Torchwood SUV, in a very small space, between a Mini, and Vauxhall Astra. "Okay, I'll drive back, too. Everyone okay in the back?"

"We're fine," Ianto and Romana said, Gwen and Rhys would be arriving in Gwen's car.

"Though," Romana added. "We might have to escape through the boot." She thought. "Again."

After sitting in the SUV for ten minutes, whilst waiting for Gwen and Rhys, then, somehow, climbing out, through the incredibly small space between the doors and the next car, the five of them, and Gwen's husband, Rhys, were at the ball, being asked for ID.

"Don't worry," Georgina said, extracting her hospital ID from her pocket, and handing the wallet, that she had earlier shown to Romana, to Gwen. "I've got it sorted."

Gwen looked at the piece of paper inside the wallet. "It's blank."

"Yes, it's blank!" Georgina said. "It's psychic paper. I'll explain later. Jack, you know how to use, you pose as a male doctor from A and E, and take Gwen as your plus one."

"What about Rhys?" Gwen pointed out, as Romana straightened Ianto's tie.

"He," Georgina said, taking Rhys by the arm, and smiling. "Can come with me."

"Well those are five minutes I wont get back!" Rhys complained, he'd long since had a dislike towards Georgina, and was complaining.

"CT specialist indeedy. You always have to show off. Exactly how many years training have you got, Jack?" Romana asked, looking at him, and raising an eyebrow.

"Well," he said. "If you count the science lessons I didn't fall asleep in, not that many."

"At least this time no one will be knocked out by the after effects of level six retcon," Georgina said.

"How can you be so sure?" Gwen asked, remembering what had happened at her wedding.

"I gave Jack a fully body search in the front of the SUV, whilst Romana and Ianto struggled to get out."

"I bet you did!" Romana scoffed.

"Not that kind of body search!" Georgina corrected her. "Checked his pockets and several orifi."

"Several?"

"Ears, mouth and nose. After the incident we had during the Queen's christmas speach, christmas gone, I thought it best."

"Yeah," Romana said. "A replica of the Titanic nearly hit Buckingham Palace with what could have been the force of twenty six nuclear bombs."

Choosing to sit some way from the bar, the six of them were looking around nervously.

Georgina was looking where members of the Medical Council were sat, so she could avoid them, at all costs.

Romana was looking around for signs that Rhys wasn't the only sane person there.

Gwen was fiddling with the straps on her purple dress, as they were twisted in an odd fashion.

Ianto was looking nervously around, making sure people didn't get the wrong impression of him and Romana. Jack was doing likewise about Georgina.

And Rhys, really felt out of place. Four Torchwood employees, and a hundred or so doctors and nurses with their better halves. And he drove trucks for a Haulage firm.

All men were looking smart in suits, and ties, and even Jack had made an effort. Mainly because Georgina had sought out his wardrobe at Debenhams in the city centre. He was actually wearing a black suit, a white shirt and proper black shoes.

"What's that?" Georgina asked, noticing something that looked like a menu, on the table.

Gwen picked it up, and read it. "Official opening by the head of the CMC, followed by formal and informal dancing. Then it's time to hear from some of the surgeons."

Georgina smiled, smugly, and possibly un-necessarily. "That includes me. I actually prepared a speech this year. Spent the whole ten minutes talking about Jack to a room full of doctors last time. Including Owen." She moved her head to one side, resting it on Jack's shoulder. "Then I spent about half an hour wiping blood from my face. I got a tension nose bleed."

T W O

"Can this wait?" Georgina asked a student doctor the following day, at the hospital. "I've got six people to see, not necessarily patients. Oh," she remembered. "Ianto said he will go to the ball. I told him not to upstage you."

"Well," the student said; it was Romana, Georgina's friend, and after seventeen years working as a Lab Technician, she had decided to study to be a Doctor. "He'll hardly be able to upstage Rear of the Year 5068 through 5074."

"That was me!" Georgina said, grabbing a pen off the recpetion desk, where she had been sat for the last hour, writing a report for her boss, even though she was the most senior person that worked on the ward. "You know what? Sometimes, I don't understand, what the CMC want from me. I mean, I'm only young. But," she said, itching her head, and leaning so far back in the swivvel chair she was sat in, she neared falling off it altogether. "I suppose I am the head of CT stuff, I have a team to motivate, I have a git of a fella to look after seventy five percent of my time, and the other twenty five percent is spent shagging his boyfriend. It's a good life." She looked up smugly at Romana. "Ooh, it's a brilliant life!"

"Since when did you, let Ianto, take you up the 'passage de passion'?"

"Every other weekend since my first day at Canary Wharf."

"Oh," Romana said. "So that's where you went every other weekend when you left number ten every other friday night for three years?"

"Yes," Georgina replied, scribbling over the fact she had written the word 'Arse' three times, instead of 'Area'. "I had to have some outlet. I could hardly survive a sexless marriage. Why do you think I married Jack?"

"Because your mother forced the pair of you into it." She lowered her head, so that she was looking over the desk, and onto what Georgina was writing. "You've written the word 'Arse' five times." And she stalked off, her long, black hair, moving as she walked.

"For the eighteenth time!" Georgina shouted, making three nurses stare at her. "I'm busy!"

"Writing the word 'Arse' repeatedly doesn't make you seem busy." It was Ianto. He was holding a cup of what appeared to be water.

"Where did you get that?" She asked, noticing this. It was in a mug.

"I stopped at your office," he said. "It's peppermint. It's supposed to help you relax." He noticed she's now wrote another word; one that nobody outside of Adult films normally used. "And focus. You've written 'Arse' six times, and 'Count' three. I'd burn that and start again. Hand that in to your higher-ups and get the sack."

"That doesn't say 'Count'," Georgina pointed.

"Well, obviously!"
"Are you here for a reason, Ianto?"

"I've come to accept Romana's offer," he smiled. "Plus, that way, we don't have to wait until weekend."

"Forget it!" Georgina said. "First thursday of the month! I haven't waxed."

"Too much information," Ianto replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Now, get out!" Georgina said. "My boss keeps paying me a visit to see I'm working properly. Making sure I don't drive anywhere, drink anything with whisky in it, and to stop me from writing 'Arse' repeatedly."

"Okay! I'm going. Tell Romana, I will go with her. Will I see you at the Hub?"

"No," Georgina said, firmly. "I'm not supposed finish here until seven. It'll take me about twenty minutes to get home, because it takes me ten to find my car keys." Something beeped.

"What was that?" Ianto said.

Georgina was fumbling about in her suit pocket. "My phone. People should ring the ward or my office. It would make life hell of a lot easier. Ha!" She pulled her mobile from her pocket, pulling a out a satsuma and three coloured biros out in the process. "Read that," she said, pushing the mobile in Ianto's face. "My glasses have gone walkies."

"Dial zero eight hundred sex sex sex for your chance to win. Tagged Anon."

"I knew I should never have given Jack my mobile number when he lost it. That's the kind of thing I have to put up with." Something else beeped. "Pager," she explained. She dragged her pager from her pocket, doing her best to read it with her reading glasses. "I'm needed in theatre. I could be five hours. Depends what it is. I'll see you later." She stood up, and walked from behind the reception desk, dragging a black jacket from the back of the chair.

O N E

The following morning, Gwen, Ianto and Georgina were sat in the Boardroom, which was creeping Georgina out, imensely. "What it is," she explained to Gwen and Ianto. "I spent a year on board a UNIT ship, and this room looks so much like where I spent most of that year. Never," she made the two promise. "Get into a fight with a politition, Prime Minister or Martha Jones from UNIT. It's not worth the paperwork."

"Where's Jack?" Gwen said, realising she hadn't seen him all morning.

"Dunno," Ianto said, recalling that he hadn't heard Jack complain that morning.

She stood up and made for the door. "I'll be back in five minutes."

"I thought I might find you down here," Georgina said, watching Janet, the Weevil, mope about in her cell. "Are you still thinking about writing 'Weevil Rock You'?!"

Jack muttered something, and carried on watching the Weevil himself. "I'm sorry. I know what he meant to you. Possibly one of the only people that cared about your medical ramblings since Victoria. Apart from Dimitrov."

Georgina laughed slightly. "The one with a face like a rat? He didn't care. He just wanted to sleep with me. And I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have over-reacted. But it was late, A and E was a nightmare, Romana nearly hospitalised us all by blowing a fuse in her office, we were running on back-up for two hours. And then back up failed. That's why it took me two hours to get here. And I can't see the point of failing back-up systems. It's all hormones and manual ventilation. I thought we were having a repeat of you know when."

Jack nodded. "I'll never forget the phonecall."

"Right," Georgina said, sometime later, when the four of them were in the boardroom. Ianto had made coffee, and Gwen was looking from Georgina to Jack, picking up mixed signals of how they actually felt for each other. "First of all, I want to appologise for acting like a bitch last night. Secondly, we've been noticed too many times, perhaps it's time we starting using mine and Gwen's cars. Plus I can only just fit into the drivers seat of the SUV when Gwen's been driving before me. And thirdly there was a suspicious disturbance at the hospital last night when I was on duty. Whatever it was, it wasn't Earthly. Believe me," she said. "Because Romana can be quoted as saying 'oh my buggar'. And she never says that." She thought for a moment. "Unless she's woken up with someone she's regretted sleeping with." She looked at Ianto. "And, I also know this, because I've treated three patients with odd symptoms this week. The symptoms don't seem to vary from person to person, and most of the doctor's I've spoken to, don't seem to know what's going on, either. I think it's a basic, interspecies nairovirus. But, it might be more complex than that, because it's the first time I've seen thick, black mucus come out of someones mouth."

"Apart from..." Jack began.

"Jessica Liegh in 'The Sweetness'!" Georgina and Jack laughed together. "Ha!"

"So," Georgina said. "We can't do anything until tomorrow, when the CT wards get taken off quarentine, and I'm back in work, so, we need to find something to fill the gaps. Ianto?"

Ianto shook his head.

Gwen shook hers.

Georgina smiled. "Alright then," she said, her voice all squeaky, and excited. "Sorry." She appologised for her voice. "Spend too much time close-by one squeaky idiot, you start yourself. Anyway," she continued. "Tomorrow is the annual Charity Ball for the staff at the hospital. You're only suppose to have a plus one, but asking one of you seems to sound bad, Romana wants to take Ianto, because she doesn't want to come across single and desperate, I want to take Jack, because I don't want to come across single-"

"What about desperate?" Ianto asked.

"Oh I'm the Patron Saint of Desperation!"

"Seriously," Jack said. "I met her back home, she was tall, blonde and simply irresistable. I swept her off her feet, and I haven't let her go since."
"Apart from when you lost me in 1941," she recalled.

"Yeah," Jack said. "Apart from then."

"But," Georgina continued. "There is a possibilty I can still get Gwen in. I say ball," she confessed. "Last year I was auctioned off for charity. Worst day of my life. Luckily, I'm not taking part this year. I don't think I could stand the torture. I mean, my boss fancies me. Head of the Cardiff Medical Council. He's only thirty eight." She smiled, cheekily. "Romana's hoping he wont bid for her. Owen completely turned her against the opposite sex." She thought for a minute. "So, Ianto, will you accompany Romana to the ball? She wants to look as striaght as is possible."

"Okay," Ianto agreed.

"Gwen," Georgina said. "How do you feel about being a Nurse for the evening?"

 T H E    L I T T L E S T    T H I N G S

Author: Rachel (Stellar)

Rating: PG-13

Fandom: Torchwood

Pairings: Jack/Georgina, mentions of Georgina/Owen, and Jack/Ianto, Toshiko/Romana

About: (never you mind; spoilers!)

Main characters: Jack, Gwen, Ianto, Georgina (Gina or TJ), Romana

Places: "The Hub", (possibly fictional) Cardiff City Hospital, Georgina and Romana's house

About: Spoilers. Never you mind.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Torchwood, or any of its characters. Nor do I own the Romana. I do, however, own Georgina, the "Perimoiullus" and this fiction. And, I am suprised to learn that the BBC do not, infact, own myself!

The whole world that exsists is surrounded by parallel Universes, and exsistances. One false move, and bang! Every single Universe blows, and it's the end of life forever. And it can't end. I have seen the end of the world, I kind of met myself coming back. It turns out, I'm a complete bitch of a tree. 5 billion years in the future. This future. And it's up to us to stop this getting widespread.

P R O L O G U E

"I don't care, Jack!" Georgina screamed, across the Hub, her long, deep red hair, flying about her head, as she ran as far away from Jack as was possible. "That photo was the only fully-clothed one I had of Owen and me outside of Paris! I think we're a bit beyond reasoning, calmness and sanity!" She threw a  pen at Ianto's head, and at Gwen, she threw her stethoscope, which she had been using earlier, at her full time job, at the local hospital. "And how many times do I have to tell you, I work the late shift A and E on a Friday to stop things getting too bad. But I can't even do that because Jack bloody Harkness calls! It's been three months Jack! I still don't know how to cope, I'm living on strong coffee and toast, Romana's still as much of a bitch as she was back in the 1990s, I killed my husband, I'm an alien from a planet that's dead, and sometimes, just sometimes, I actually love you!"

Jack walked over to Georgina, almost fuming. "It's not your fault that you can't handle the late night roams around the city of Cardiff!"

"Don't you dare blame this on my incapability to drink like we used to, because I think you've forgotten who was driving that car, tonight." She looked at Gwen. The she looked at Ianto. "Nice to know where I'm welcome." She shook her head. "I used to feel like I was respected here. But no. Jack's in charge, I'm sleeping with someone who can't even tie his own velcro, and I'm still a seven hundred and eighty minus four year old Time Lady, damn it!" She found herself in the Autopsy Room by the time she'd almost run out of insults to throw at Jack. "And try and tell Ianto of the problem you have. He might find it useful, because hell knows I don't!" And this was the woman that had once declared her love for this man.

It was sometime later, when Georgina had been sat away from Jack most of the evening, and Ianto and Gwen had gone home, that Georgina was walking around the Autopsy room, thinking of more insults to shout at Jack, and looking for the strong painkillers she kept for hangovers. It was only when she remembered she'd left them her desk at the hospital, that she decided she needed to find another way of de-stressing from the stress of working two almost full-time jobs.

That's when she turned to the shooting range. Protective clothing on; a crash helmet, because she knew any rebounding bullet would more likely hit her in the head, rather than somewhere else in the body. And it would certainly be unlucky if she did have such an incident. But, she remembered, she had once fired a gun at the ceiling, and had, therefore, secondarily shot herself in the foot.

She had been there for twenty minutes, when she noticed that Jack was stood about three feet behind her.

"Come to gloat about my temper staying as short as my height?" She asked.

"You're six foot two," Jack replied. "But now you mention it-"
"Don't even think about it!" Georgina shouted back. "Because you're a pathetic, masoganistic, git of a man, Harkness. And I don't know how many more times I'm gonna have to remind you of that, but, after spending such a lot of time together in the last hundred and forty four years, perhaps we need a break." She shot at what seemed to be a cardboard Weevil, with what appeared to be a replica of Jack's Webley Revolver.

"Wait a minute!" Jack said, noticing the gun. "How the hell-"

But he was cut short, because Georgina had turned around, accidentally pulling the trigger, and shooting Jack straight through the head.